He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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