So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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