The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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