we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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