is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
