Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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