return my video game
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
