I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
