dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
