someone threw a dead crab at me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
