Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
