Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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