dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
