He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
