My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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