I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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