Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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