this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
