I'm sorry my penis didn't work
no, he came in my armpit
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize