If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize