remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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