shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
