I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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