She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
