Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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