He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
