The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
