Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
