Where are you?
In a non slutty way
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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