How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
