it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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