We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
