omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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