4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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