my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
