I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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