Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
