He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize