I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
