so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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