so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize