I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
this hospital has no fireball
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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