It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
