I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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