She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize