You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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