I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
