Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
