No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
