A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
