If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
