i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
