nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
