It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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