At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
