I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Randomize
