guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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