Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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