then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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