so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
