Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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