His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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