nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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