I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
