There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
