Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize