You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
