my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
